Goodbye

Dear Honduras,

It has been a pleasure being here. Honestly, I can’t believe my time is over. I just wanted to write this note to say thanks. There is so much I could thank you for.

I’ll start by saying thanks for teaching me about myself. Within your borders I came across so many challenges, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. I learned both my weakness and my strength simultaneously. And I learned to accept both. It is interesting that, when away from any familiarity and the societal pressure to be successful, you have a lot more freedom to know yourself.

Also, thank you for all the wonderful things I have experienced. Your people are beautiful and I will always carry many in my heart….my students, those I met on mission, the other missionaries in the community, and so many others. But speaking of people, you really need to take care of them better. It is so difficult when situations that people do not choose cause such suffering. Please, Honduras, take care of your people…ALL of them.

On the topic of people, it is certain that through your people I grew so much in my faith. The example of their trust in God is incredible. He truly takes care of those who trust in Him. And the way He took care of me during all the challenges of mission was also so beautiful. Thank you, Honduras, for creating the typically crazy circumstances that allowed this clarity.

Finally, Honduras, thank you for teaching me about the world. I know that I grew up very much in a bubble. But now I can see how my brothers and sisters in the rest of the world are connected to me. I have seen that the way I live and decisions I make must build up and not oppress, not even indirectly. To be honest, I don’t know what this means yet, but I do know that I want to live with integrity and solidarity.

In conclusion, it has been a great two years. I will miss you.

Your half-Catracha friend,

Jamie

Love

Once again, the time has slipped past and I have not written. It has been a good couple of weeks. We had another Pan de Vida retreat, my last. It was a wonderful retreat for the youth who came. They were able to encounter God in a powerful way. For me, also, it was a powerful weekend. Knowing that it would be my last, I spent some time in prayer reflecting on everything that has happened in these two years. There have been so many challenges, triumphs, and moments to grow that I can barely believe it has only been two years. So much has happened that I can scarcely begin to think about it all without being in awe of God. During the retreat, the thought that kept coming back to me was “I am loved.” Through it all, at the end of it all, I am loved. I have seen to incredible power of God’s love, both in my own life and in the lives of those I have been blessed to walk alongside. It’s a love we can’t imagine, nor can we earn it. We are loved passionately, foolishly, to the extreme. And opening our hearts to that reality is what gives life its meaning and excitement. We are created for this.

Happy Easter

I guess better late than never is a phrase I can use for this blog post. I didn’t realize how long it has been since I have written.

Let me back up to the beginning. Holy Week was wonderful. I was on a team that went to one of the islands for mission. It felt like I was working in a post card, seriously. During the day we had kid’s programs and other activities on the beach. In the evenings, we had Mass or other Holy Week activities with the community. It was definitely a difficult place for mission, but beautiful nonetheless. We had to trust God to plant the seeds, even if we can’t see fruit. But I truly believe that if we take that step out to serve, God does the rest.

It seems like God has been showing me how He always takes care of us. I wrote about that after the mission to Ingrula. He did it again during Holy Week. There was a thunder storm that was headed to the island right as we were doing some outside activities. It went around us. No one got bit by a tarantula, though we killed 10 in the house we were staying in, including one in a suitcase and one on my ceiling. He helped us overcome the daily issues with getting the power we needed for the activities. Truly, God cared for us.

Now we are back in school. In the community we will be leading a Pan de Vida retreat next weekend. Then it is nearly summer and all the blessed craziness that that implies. I can’t believe how the time is flying!

Quick Update

I don't have time to write a full post now since we are rushing out the door for the Holy Week mission. But I wanted to share a video we all like very much. You can get English subtitles using the settings on the bottom of the video screen.

Also, I updated my pictures.

Have a blessed Holy Week and Easter!

God's Mercy in Ingrula

Last week I was able to go with the community on mission to a remote village called Ingrula. The people were very simple and extremely sincere in their faith. We were able to celebrate the feast day of the community (Annunciation) with them. They had a huge nearly all-night vigil where they sang and prayed. They got Mass, which, for a mountain village, is rare. We visited several families in the village. This involved A LOT of hiking as the village is built on two side of a steep ravine and the houses are spread apart. From the top of the village to the bottom there is probably a 1000-foot difference. And then you have to hike up to other side!

For me, it was a beautiful week. It helped remind me of how blessed I am to be here. The generosity of the people astounded me. At nearly every house they gave us eggs because they wanted us to have them to take back and share. It was incredible. I could see God in so many places: nature, the people, the adorable great-grandmother that kept asking us if we knew her grandchildren in the United States, the children, my team members that stepped out of their comfort zones to serve during the week...the list goes on and on.

The biggest lesson for me, though, was how God is merciful and answers our prayers even about the little things. We had hiked over two hours to reach another village for the day. It was time to return to Ingrula, but we were WAY behind schedule. We also had to climb up and over a huge mountain. Usually, I like being outside and hiking, but after doing so much already, I do not honestly know if I would have made it. I said a little prayer for help and God sent me a bus. We were able to take the 3:00 bus to the turn-off for our village. From there, it was still an hour hike, but downhill.

At the end of the week we were supposed to hike to the main turn-off for our village to be picked up there in the car. What had taken us an hour to hike down the day before now had to be climbed, with backpacks, guitars, sleeping bags and the suitcase full of random supplies. To make matters worse, the first mile or so was literally straight up the mountain with not even switchbacks to helps you out. I said another little prayer that we would not have to climb. As we were preparing to load a mule with at least some of our things, we heard the most wonderful sound...our car had come to pick us up.

These things, at the time, seemed so small. Why should I ask God for that? But He answered. He pays attention to the little details and uses them to show His mercy and love.

The Challenges of Honduras

When things go wrong in Honduras, they really go wrong. There are no safely nets here like we have in the States for people who are in crisis. Imagine, a family does not have enough food. There are no food banks here. A family lost their home. There are no shelters, only relatives. There is a situation of child neglect. There is kind of a powerless version of CPS, but they can’t make the decision to actually take the child away. A student needs extra help. There are no special education services. There is a seriously depressed person. The number of hoops to jump through to get them help takes two months. There is a medical emergency. The public hospital leaves them unconscious and does not attend to them for four hours. Add to that the fact that there has been no cell phone service for nearly a month because the government wants to curb the number of prisoners making calls (a great goal, but not great implementation). It has been a week of relying on God in prayer. We believe He can do all things and we say that so much, especially on mission. It is when things happen that you actually learn to believe it. He can do all things. In this we place our hope.

Suyapa and Other Fun

Well, last week was my first week with the new schedule. It was a good week, though this change will take some getting used to. Here are some highlights of the week.

• I did a self-evaluation thing with my students since we were starting a new term. When asked to describe her behavior, one girl wrote, "adorable." Another student said that the hardest thing about school was getting up in the morning.
• As a school we went to the Basilica of Our Lady of Suyapa in Tegucigalpa. It was beautiful to be there with the kids. I am thankful for the public schooling that I received, but it is also beautiful to be able to do things like this.
• This weekend I was a little stressed because I have some work to do with all my new classes, but we lost power. It was like God was saying: slow down and smell the roses. I have a feeling it will take me a lot longer to learn this one. I tend to rush rush rush when I know I have things to do

On a deeper note, being on this side of my second Christmas is a little bit of an eye-opener. I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I came with the desire to love the people of Honduras and to help. Simply put, but difficultly lived. Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I let impatience or other things get in the way. But through it all, I can see how God has been working, in my heart, in the community, and in the lives of others we serve. All I  can do is look to heaven and say thank you and ask for the grace to continue and to deepen this path that I am on in these last couple of months.

New Challenges

Sometimes God changes our plans. That happened to me last week. One of the teacher's at the school didn't return after Christmas so the school asked me to stay for the afternoons too. Formerly, I was only there half-day. While I liked having other ministries and things in the afternoon, what else could I say but yes? Then I learned that I would be teaching four new classes starting Monday: seventh and eighth grade grammar and literature. Middle school is a little out of my element, but I have to trust that God is putting me right where He wants me to serve, even if that was not my idea of what the rest of the school year would be. It's going to take a lot of patience and trust. But after the initial shock of so many unexpected changes wore off, I found myself excited for these new challenges and opportunities. I have no idea what I am getting myself into. I know I need God's help. But this should be good.

A Late Update (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year)

Well, we are over half way through January so I should finally say I hope you had a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

For me it was a blessing to visit my family for Christmas. I'm not going to lie; it was a bit of culture shock at first returning to the States after a year. But it was good to spend time with my family.

Right now I am back in Honduras. I started school again last Monday. I really missed my students and they claimed that they miss me (though I doubt that now since we worked hard this week). It is good to be back with the community and to see everyone again.

Also, thank you to everyone who donated to the mission.

Photo Update

I hope your Advent is going well. Everything is great here. The mission last week went really well. Now I just have one more week until Christmas break. (Trust me, my students think they are already on break.) Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I finally posted more pictures. You can click the link above.

Advent Reflections

Happy Advent! It’s been a really busy week. It was the week of formation for Honduran youth, it is mission-prep week (even though I’m not going I still have my kid’s projects to create), and I had school. God has had to give me the strength to make it this week because it has been like living two days within the span of one day. I’m not complaining, though. I really enjoy school and I have enjoyed being present for part of the formation week and getting to know the youth. They should have a wonderful mission next week. They are hungry for God and hungry to bring Him to others.

Part of my job to prepare for the mission was to write the Advent reflections that will be copied and sent with each team. It got me thinking, what does Advent really mean? Sure we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ, we welcome Him into our hearts now, and we prepare for His coming in the future. But what is the deeper meaning? I think the words awe and longing sum that up for me this year. The longing we all have for God and for His love and the awe of one who realizes how much God loves us and that the creator of the universe became man and dwelt among us. Most the time I find myself simply brushing past that truth. I’ve heard it since I was little. But in the moments when I stop to think…wow.

Then today in school we celebrated Mass. (On a side note, they celebrated in English since it is a bilingual school and I have forgotten the responses in English!) In his homily, Father brought up an interesting point that I had never thought of before. We get gifts for friends, family, everyone. But we are celebrating the birthday of Jesus. What does He get? Father suggested asking Him what He wants (or better yet, just like with our own families, asking His mom what He wants.) Faith? Trust? A closer relationship with us? I just had never thought of it like that before.

I hope that this Advent we can all grow closer to God and look beyond the wrappings and the trappings. God bless.

A very challenging thought:

Pope Francis said this in a homily, speaking about the story of Cain and Abel.

“Where is your brother?” Who is responsible for this blood?... Even today this question comes with force: Who is responsible for the blood of these brothers and sisters? No one! We all respond this way: not me, it has nothing to do with me, there are others, certainly not me. But God asks each one of us: “Where is the blood of your brother that cries out to me?” Today no one in the world feels responsible for this; we have lost the sense of fraternal responsibility; we have fallen into the hypocritical attitude of the priest and of the servant of the altar that Jesus speaks about in the parable of the Good Samaritan: We look upon the brother half dead by the roadside, perhaps we think “poor guy,” and we continue on our way, it’s none of our business; and we feel fine with this. We feel at peace with this, we feel fine! The culture of well-being, that makes us think of ourselves, that makes us insensitive to the cries of others, that makes us live in soap bubbles, that are beautiful but are nothing, are illusions of futility, of the transient, that brings indifference to others, that brings even the globalization of indifference. In this world of globalization we have fallen into a globalization of indifference. We are accustomed to the suffering of others, it doesn’t concern us, it’s none of our business.

Pray for Honduras this weekend that someone will be elected who will uphold human dignity, even for the most poor and desperate.

Do you want to be a Saint?

Those were to words spoken to the students today at Mass. Do we want to be Saints? Maybe not big "s" Saints, but maybe the little "s" saints. All be need has been given to us. We just need to open our hearts.

Today at school we celebrated All Saints Day. It was a lot of fun for the kids. They got to dress up as their favorite Saints…adorable. I am very much enjoying my time in the school. I have gotten to know my students better and finally established a routine (kind of). I am really learning that at the end of the day, I will never have finished my to-do list. But that’s okay. God is the one in charge so if I do the best I can, He will fill in the rest. It is important not to get so caught up in how much has to be done that you miss the blessings of the present moment. Below are some highlights from my first month as a teacher.

• In science we were learning about how humans affect an ecosystem. I put the students into pairs and gave each a bowl of water in which I had mixed coffee grounds, oil, and food coloring. I provided a random assortment of supplies and the students had to try and clean up the water "pollution." Wow! What a mess! But not a single one of them was just playing. They were really into the activity.
• In my religion class I had them write down five questions about anything relating to religion, faith, etc. Their questions were super deep! I am glad we are finally getting beyond the rote memorization of Sunday school when they were ten. Now I have my work cut out for me trying to answer them. The Catechism may become my best friend.
• Dressing up as St. Joan of Arc and seeing my students extremely excited that their teacher actually dressed up.
• Praying as a school. After years of public school (which I don't regret at all) it is refreshing to pray together as a whole school.
• Seeing the light bulb turn on when students finally understand something.

Emmanuel, God with Us

What can make a hot, cramped room full of teenagers sitting on the floor absolutely silent?

What can soften the heart of the most hardened, abandoned, and drug-addicted teenager?

What can strengthen us in the daily struggle of remaining faithful as disciples?

What can move us to tears of joy, gratitude, forgiveness, awe, surrender?

The Eucharist!

Last weekend we lead the Pan de Vida (Bread of Life) retreat here.  Wow. God did some incredible things in the lives of the youth that came. How incredible that each day we have the opportunity to receive our Lord and Savior into our very beings. God’s word brings about what it says. Let there be light. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Be healed. Your sins are forgiven. This is my Body. God’s Word shapes reality. He’s there in the Eucharist, really! And when a human heart opens itself to that reality, God responds!

I remember during one of the missions last summer a woman was sharing her story with me. She had what the doctors thought was cancer in her neck, but, since she lives in a mountain village it was not possible to go to Tegucigalpa for treatment. And besides, she was too scared to go. In addition, she had young children. With tears in their eyes, the woman and her grown daughter told me about how they were watching a Mass on TV one day. In this particular village they get Mass once a year. As the Eucharist was shown on TV, the woman put her hands on the screen and, looking at Jesus, simply said, “Have mercy on me.” She was healed.

Big Changes

It is funny how we think we have everything figured out and then God changes our plans. That happened to me a couple weeks ago. If you didn’t know, I studied to be a teacher in college and that is my dream. But I knew God was calling me to serve here so I chose to trust Him and came. It was a wonderful year, but it was always a little difficult to temporarily sacrifice my dream of teaching. Well, when I least expected it and in the way I least expected it, God handed me an opportunity. I am still living in the mission house and am serving as part of the community, but each morning my ministry is now at Instituto Católico Belingue, one of the bilingual schools in Comayagua. I teach a variety of subjects including 4^th grade math, science and grammar. Last Tuesday was my first day and I loved it! It is crazy how fast God can change our plans in completely unexpected way. Just another illustration that He’s really in charge of things.

Family, Beaches, and Fun

Well, my family left a couple days ago. It was really a blessing to have them here. I was able to show them around Comayagua and show them some of my ministries. We also took a side trip to Roatan, the islands in the Caribbean to the north. It was an enjoyable time, but for me a little weird. It was like being in a totally different country. Riding the bus up I was just thinking about my bus ride to Antigua and how Honduras looks very different through a bus window. Now, I certainly have nothing against being a tourist. On the contrary, I appreciated the chance. But on a tour bus you are a tourist, protected from the life of the people and isolated in your own bubble. It is very different walking the dusty streets, talking to people, and being challenged to love.  Now as we really get into my second year (orientation for the newbies is next week) I hope that I will be able to love and serve more fully. I want to really be able to enter into the lives of the people here.

Family Visit and Thoughts

In less that 24 hrs my family will be joining us for just over a week. I am so excited to see them and I am pretty sure they are excited to see me too. January to September was the longest I have ever gone without seeing my family. I can't wait to share the mission with them, to share something so important to me with the people most important to me. I can't wait for them to see the people, the joy, the community, the beauty of Honduras.

This last week was quite busy. Mostly I was getting things together for the trip. But in the car I was reading a book about a priest working in a slum in Jamaica. The way he started the book really struck me and I think it's true.

In the beginning, I did this work because I had to. It was a matter of conscience. God requires much from His followers...I hated the nakedness, the hunger, the ugliness, the anger, the weeping. But I went among the poor because Christ commanded it...Christ wanted me to be with the poor not to change the world of the poor materially, but to be among them and to find Christ's beauty among them. Yes, there are clothes, water food, shelter, money that we give. We give all that we can...But most importantly, it is the beauty we discover among the poor, the presence of Christ that holds us there. Love meaning being with those whom we love. Just as God loved us by being with us in the flesh of His son, we find Christ by being with the poor in whom He dwells.

It is presence. The deepest human longing is for love, dignity, to be valued. Even if one cannot change the larger picture and the complex systems at the root of poverty, one can accompany, listen, and value a fellow brother or sister. If I am powerless to change someone's future, I hope I can give them hope in the present. Especially tomorrow when the world prays for peace, let us treat one another with the dignity we give to Christ, because He is in each heart.

The Power of Prayer

Every Sunday I go to a nearby village with several other Missioners. They help with different catechesis groups for the kids, preparation for First Communion, etc. I meet with a group of mothers from the same village to do faith formation as well. Sometimes I am really not sure who is the missionary. Yes, I come with a theme prepared for the day to teach them the basics about our Catholic faith, but they teach me so much more about life in the process. Their simple faith and trust in God for even the most basic things is astonishing. I think we mutually learn from each other.

That was the case last Sunday when I asked one of the mother's how her week went. She started to tell me how her grown son works as a guard for a Pepsi truck in the North. That's a pretty dangerous job and in a pretty dangerous place. Every morning at 5am before he goes to work, she prays for him, asking that God will protect him from harm throughout the day. One particular morning she prayed as usual and then proceeded in her normal daily routine. But in the middle of the day she felt an overwhelming need to kneel and pray intensely for her son. She didn't know why, but knelt to pray. Later she learned that at the exact same time, six armed robbers had attacked the truck that her son was guarding. He threw himself on the ground to protect himself and a stray bullet caught his leg, though it missed shattering the bone. He was brought to the hospital and is recovering marvelously. The mother attributed his survival and the fact that the bullet didn't hit his bone to the power of prayer.

What have we been up to?

I just want to write a quick update on what has been going on the last couple of weeks. I updated the pictures a few days ago. We sent our last summer team home a couple weeks ago. All three teams that came for the summer were great. I think they all had a wonderful time and learned a lot. However, I think three missions is enough and I was glad for a little peace. The new long-termers have arrived now and will be going to Antigua soon. (I can't believe I was there a year ago!) Last weekend we went on a community retreat and it was good to get away for a couple days. Next week we will be leading the same confirmation retreat four times in different corners of one of the very rural parishes right along the El Salvador border. Please keep us in your prayers.

One Year

Well, I thought I would update the blog today since I have been here a year. Wow, a whole year! So much has happened, but it has been an incredible blessing to be here. I was thinking about all that God has allowed me to experience and do this year and it seems simultaneously like a blink of an eye and like several lifetimes. Most of my preconceived ideas about what it means to be a young adult serving in a foreign country were quickly squashed and I learned to simply love people and serve God in the small ways (this is a work-in-progress still).  It has been a year of growing, serving, changing, questioning, loving, hiking, writing, talking, translating, smiling, crying, laughing, hugging, dancing, praying, picture-taking, teaching, learning, searching, finding, cooking, cleaning, stretching, caring, gluing, cutting, organizing, listening, sharing, reading, helping, missioning…….