Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! May it be filled with many blessings.

To think, we celebrate a baby born over two thousand years ago. But it wasn't just any baby; it was God. I don't think we can wrap our minds around that. How many times have we heard the Christmas story? In my case, so many that I forget the earth-shattering significance of that night in Bethlehem. But if God became man, if Jesus is God, that demands a response. This has been a point of reflection for me over the past months. The video below could easily be set in Bethlehem and changed to say, "He is Jesus, the Son of God, you owe Him your allegiance." And like Boromir, we have the choice to say "I will follow you, my King, my God," or "I have no King; I need no King." Jesus, the Son of God, was born. What is our response?

Home for Christmas

I just wanted to give a quick update. I am home for Christmas now (and 35 degrees has never felt this cold). It is a blessing to be here with my family. Like always, it is strange to come back to the States. I am still trying to wrap my head around the American version of celebrating Christmas as compared to the life of relative simplicity that I have been living. But like I said, it is a blessing to be here. I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

I also posted some more pictures. You can view them at this link:

Jamie's Facebook Pictures

Please note, that last time some people said they could not view the pictures on Firefox. It works for me, but if you are having problems, try using a different browser.

A Special Request

Well, Advent has been going quickly which means Christmas is right around the corner. I am very excited to be home soon to visit with my family. While I am home, I would like to gather some things to bring back to the community. You can click here to see the list. If you can help donate anything, just give these things to me and I will take them down with me when I return in January. Thank you so much for your help! Have a blessed Advent.

Nuestra Señora

It has been a very Marian week to say the least (and not just my struggling to read and actually understand True Devotion by Montfort). But, since Our Lady simply leads us to Christ, it is a wonderful thing that she has been so present this week!

Last Saturday was the feast of the Immaculate Conception. It was a wonderful day and everyone was back from the mission to celebrate. A couple of the Friars decided to have a procession in honor of Our Lady. These are very common throughout Latin America and I had seen and participated in a large one while in Antigua. The Friars invited us to come along so a couple of us did. Our procession was rather small, but beautiful. Yes, walking around the neighborhood singing songs to Mary seems a little crazy (and I felt a little crazy at the time), but by the end, I had managed to move beyond my comfort zone in order to see the beauty of what was happening. A woman ending up joining us near the beginning, but it was only after the procession that she told us her story. Immediately before we stopped in front of her house, she had been praying to Mary for the health of a sick baby in the family and had been worried and crying. She told us that when we came, she knew that God had answered her prayers, through the intercession of Mary. It is amazing how God works!

Then we had the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe this Wednesday. Again, it was a joyful celebration. And for me, it was a reminder of why I am here and that this is where God has called me to be at this time in my life. It was exactly three years ago Wednesday that I began to seriously consider coming to Honduras for that first summer. The rest is history, but it has always been Mary, under the title Our Lady of Guadalupe, that has guided me to follow her Son here.

Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!

Disappointment

Sometimes, life doesn't work out quite like we planned. These last two weeks were one of those times. We had a week of intense faith formation for Honduran youth and then a mountain mission. I have been looking forward to them for quite a while, but I got sick and couldn't go. I have been trying to trust that God has some sort of bigger plan for these two weeks, but it hasn't been easy. Yet, just because I don't clearly see God working doesn't mean He isn't.

My poorly-timed health problems aside, these weeks have been very beautiful. The youth that came to training week were rock-solid in their faith. It gives me hope for this country and this world. I am starting to understand better what was discussed during the formation program: we might have a comfortable life, plenty of food, hot water, and whatever else we could want, but without God, we have nothing. Isn't to be human to be in relationship with God or at least to be searching?

Thanksgiving

Hello all! Happy Thanksgiving. We actually did celebrate it here and it was quite a feast. We invited a couple Honduran families that we know. It was really beautiful to see everyone celebrate together. We went around the table and everyone shared things they are thankful for. Something that struck me was that, in addition to giving thanks for all the obvious blessings (family, life, health, etc), several people gave thanks for the difficulties in life, because they were able to grow from them. I have never heard people name that on the list of thankfulness. But it is true. St. Paul says "in all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5: 18) Life isn't always easy. Being here isn't always easy. But I give thanks to God for those challenges. I have grown so much closer to Him and consequently, have grown so much as a human being.

Do Everything for His Glory

As inevitably happens in life, there are times when everyone else seems to be busy, but we have nothing to do. I think what choice we make in that moment is really important. We can chose to fill our time with the distractions of TV, Facebook, or whatnot. These things are not in and of themselves bad, but they really can distract a person from their faith and from life in general (You realize this when you suddenly no longer have access.) OR, you can find little ways of serving God by serving those closest to you. Sometimes that means doing the dishes or sweeping. Is that fun? No. But St. Therese was all about small things with great love. That way, the little action is transformed into a prayer.

I think that especially the Americans come here hoping to serve God in an "exciting" way. But the reality is that we do have to wash dishes because we use them to eat. We do have to sweep, even though it is a loosing battle against the dust. That is just part of life, but it is also serving God and neighbor if we do it with love. It is a difficult lesson to learn, especially when it happens somewhat frequently within a week. I am learning that there is more than one way we are missionaries building the Kingdom of God. Yes, there are talks and groups and retreats, there are one-on-one conversations, there is time to lift our ministries and neighbors up in prayer, there is time for us to be strengthened in our own faith to be able to serve better...but we are just as much missionaries in the ordinary day-to-day stuff. There is a song that says, "do everything you do for the glory of the One who made you." I am not there yet, but I want God to be able to work through me in everything throughout the day for His glory. I pray that we can all grow closer to this goal each day.

Weekly Update

Well, another week has come and gone. It was mostly normal. I had my regular tutoring schedule. I am starting to get to know the kids better. (And they are starting to remember my weird American name.) The kids are really fun to work with. They make me smile, even on days when I don't really want to tutor. I have also been going with the director of the scholarship program to visit the families of the kids and to check up on them. All of our kids come from great poverty and most come from very broken families. But in general, they are so much more joyful and loving than the kids I know in the States. There is a family that comes to daily Mass frequently and the kids ALWAYS hug every single person in the chapel and wish them peace. Saturday mornings, all of the kids from the scholarship program help with community service. Usually, we visit the house of an elderly person to help clean and to just visit them. I think this week we will be helping the Friars sort and package food for their distribution program. The kids are usually great about helping out, with a couple exceptions.

I think there were two highlights in my week. Last Friday I went with the Missionaries of Charity to help with a faith formation group in one of their aldeas. It was beautiful, and though fairly close to Comayagua, totally remote. And there is certainly mission work to be done there. When the Missionaries of Charity arrived four years ago, the people had absolutely no formation or faith of any sort. There is still a long way to go, but the people are growing and seemed grateful for our presence. Hopefully I will be able to go most Fridays.

Also, yesterday we went to visit the clinic run by the Friars. There is a medical mission here right now doing surgeries and they wanted us to come pray and talk with the families. We prayed a rosary and then talked and prayed with several families as they waited for their loved ones. It was definitely out of my comfort zone, but absolutely beautiful to see!  Stuff like that would just not work in the States, but the people here are so open and grateful, sometimes practically sharing their whole life stories and faith journeys with us.

Well, that about sums up my week. I hope everyone back in the States had a great one too!

Truth is Always Truth

I wanted to share a poem that is on a bookmark I was given. It is quite beautiful.

Truth is Always Truth
You know My Way is simple
There is no black and white
Truth is always truth
And right is always right

So keep it simple, Christian
Don't sugar-coat My Word
I've shown you what to say
Now stand up and be heard

This is not an option
There is no other choice
This is My command to you
It's time to use your voice

Go forth and preach the Good News
Let others see Christ's light
Share your hope and joy
It's time to set things right

I do not want to complicate
Your life throughout this day
But only if you do my will
Your peace in me will stay

Littleness

Littleness. A theme that has been coming up a lot lately. It is so contrary to what we learn growing up, but I am more and more convinced that it is the way of God. After all, the God of the universe became a baby, grew up in a poor town, humbly taught the people, and died on a cross. When we stop and think about that, it should probably blow our minds. And little seems to be the only way to live here. Daily we rise, we pray, we serve, we pray some more, we rest. We try to make a small difference for those who cross our path. The problems of this neighborhood and world are so big that if we look at the big picture, we become discouraged extraordinarily easily. It is like the story of the boy and the starfish.

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?" The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean.  The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them back, they'll die." "Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!" After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said, "I made a difference for that one."

Like yesterday, I got into a random conversation with a fellow volunteer tutoring the kids. I think she just needed to talk because she told me her life story and all her difficulties. I just listened and nodded. I may not have changed the entire world, but I hope I helped her. Mother Theresa also exemplidied this. We showed a video about her to a group of young adult leaders from one of the parishes. She was so little and humble in her service to the poor and God used her for incedible things.

Yes, littleness seems to me to be somehow, contrary to reason, necessary to be a missionary.

Finally Here

I am back in Honduras now after being in the States for a wedding. It is so good to be here and to be able to start settling in. I've been getting to know my fellow community members and adjusting to our daily routine. I am with some incredible people.

We started work on our ministry schedules the other day. I will be doing a lot of work with the scholarship program so neighborhood kids can go to school: tutoring, correspondence between here and the States, working with the kids on their required community service, and home visits. I am really excited about this work because I view education as key to a better life for the individual and a more human world for us all. In addition, I will be helping with a couple of the youth groups and whatever other stuff the Missioners are doing. For example, I know that there are a couple retreats to put on, training to lead, and mountain missions to do before December. Estoy muy emocionada para empezar.

Fotografías

As promised, here are some pictures from my first eight weeks in Central America.

Click here for the pictures!

Community and Travels

The Missioners of Christ live and work as a community. Sometimes, it seems like this focus on our relationships with one another takes valuable time away from our ministries. Like this is a one-or-the-other issue. But it isn't. Relationships are absolutely essential. I learned that during my time in Antigua when I was separated from the community. Community life, though hard, holds us accountable to growth. It is so easy when one is alone to gradually slip back into the habit of listening to the voice of the world as opposed to that of God. But when I returned to Comayagua the fact that I was living and working with others gave me hundreds of little opportunities to serve and grow. And the community nourishes us so that we can go out to serve others faithfully.

Okay, that was my little reflection of something I have been thinking and reading about, but now for a practical update. I have finished Spanish classes (166 hours), returned to Comayagua for a couple of days, and am now in Helena, MT to be in my good friend's wedding. I am enjoying my time here, but am also excited to get back to Honduras and really get into things there. Hopefully I will be able to post some pictures soon.

God is Strength in Our Weakness

I will admit, these last couple of weeks at the language school have been really tough. I want to back in Comayagua serving, but this is where God has me right now. It is sometimes hard to enter into the lives of the people because life is complicated and so often difficult. I just want to be able to change the situations I see, but I can´t. It is a great frustation to me and a cross that I will carry during my time here: knowing how much my fellow human beings suffer and being powerless to change the structures and situations that have caused that. I guess, as Christians, we put our hope in God that He can still work in this broken world and can, as St. Paul says, use our weaknesses and make them into strengths. What I can do is humbly let the Lord guide me as I walk with the people here for a short time and pray that He will use me as an instrument of His love, even if I am unaware.

A Land of Contrasts

Once again, hello from Guatemala. There isn't much new to report. Basically, I am just going to class and trying to master Spanish. It's funny, the more I learn, the more complicated it seems.

Something that has really struck me since I arrived is seeing how Central America is such a land of contrasts. You see the best and the worst of humanity, the super rich and the destitute, hope and despair, good and evil side-by-side. In a first world country there are a lot more gray areas that we have created. I am still not sure how to reconcile some of these contrasting realities, but a friends of mine once told me to love the questions themselves. And someday, God will show me how all these pieces fit together.

Three Countries in Three Days

These last couple of days have been an absolute whirlwind. I arrived in Honduras, had only one day in Comayagua, rode the bus to Antigua and started classes the next day. I´ll start at the beginning.

The flights went well. God is good and everything worked out despite the strangely long lines at SeaTac and the tropical storm that was supposed to hit the northern coast of Honduras that morning.

Arriving was a little overwhelming. I couldn´t help thinking what have I gotten myself into? But was we drove north I began to see again the beauty of Honduras, both natural and in the people. Being welcomed back into the community was wonderful. I jumped right back into the life there.

Then I caught the bus bright and early to begin the fourteen hour bus ride to Antigua. It was long, but uneventful. It is really, really strange to see Central America through the eyes of a tour bus window. I looks very different than when you have to walk the dusty streets and enter into the lives of the people.

Now I am residing in Antigua, Guatemala with a wonderful women named Doña Hilda. She rents out several rooms to foreigners working or studying here. So far I really like Antigua. It is a tourist destination, which again is weird, but that means it is pretty safe, especially during the day. I appreciate being able to walk around by myself. I have been doing some exploring, trying to get a handle on the basic layout. Antigua is quite pretty, surrounded by mountains and two volcanoes. (Don´t worry mom, they have never threatened the city.) Antigua is an old colonial city so there are cobblestone streets with old buildings close together on either side.

I also started class. My teacher is great. I know that I need to study Spanish to be able to serve so I will offer that sacrifice to God and try to study hard.

Nearly There

This is my last day at home. I am just packing up my stuff and getting ready to leave tonight. Yes, I am a little nervous. But I feel so blest. I have been longing to return to Honduras for two years since God has placed this seed in my heart and now He has called me to (finally) return. I hope that while I am in Honduras I will be given the grace to truly serve, without thought of what I might get out of it. There is so much brokenness in Honduras and a difficult reality of life that often remains hidden from day-to-day life in a first world country. It will be difficult to return to. But there is also so much joy; I have never seen true joy and beauty like in the villages of Honduras.

Well, I guess next time I write I will be in Honduras or Guatemala for language school. I wish everyone back home the best. You will all remain in my prayers.

Gracias

The title of this post says it all. Thank you so much to everyone who helped me get to this point. Thank you for your financial support, without which I could not be going to Honduras. The generosity of everyone, including the anonymous donor, inspires me.

Update on the Preparations

I just wanted to post an update since it has been a while. (Sorry!) Mostly I have just been trying to tie up loose ends in the logistics department. There are so many little things to do that it has sometimes been difficult to focus of the much more important spiritual preparation. St. Paul says to do everything we do for the glory of God, but, though the Lord is slowly teaching me, I still don't quite understand this.

I am excited to go though. I've noticed myself imagining what things are going to be like in Honduras based on my experience last time. I need to stop doing that because this time will undoubtedly be different. God will have different things for me to do and different things to teach me. I must be open to the directions of the Holy Spirit.

I'll leave with a quote from the Conference of Latin American Bishops, as quoted in Redemptoris Missio:

The best service we can offer to our bother is evangelization, which helps him to live and act as a son of God, sets him free from injustices and assists his overall development.

Patience

Right now I am in a period of preparation and formation. While I know how important that is, I think God is teaching me patience! It seems so unreal that I am actually returning, but I just want to go already!

Thought of the Day

A friend had given me an article to read a while back by then Cardinal Ratzinger on the New Evangelization. I finally got around to reading it today, though, and found it extremely relevant to my time in Honduras. Some food for thought:

To evangelize means: to show this path-to teach the art of living...The deepest poverty is the inability of joy, the tediousness of a life considered absurd and contradictory. This poverty is widespread today, in very different forms in the materially rich as well as the poor countries.

Well, that is what I am going to Honduras to do. I must "surrender to the mystery of the grain of mustard seed and not be so pretentious as to believe to immediately produce a large tree." Instead, I pray that I can be a humble and patient servant of Jesus so that He can use me to do what He desires to do in the hearts of those I meet, even if that means I am led to Calvary, in a spiritual sense. But that is what it means to be a missionary. I only hope that God continues to form me so that this journey is not about me, but about Him and His work.

And the Countdown Begins...

I just thought I would give an update since it has been a while since I have written. It is starting to sink in what I have said yes to and it is certainly a learning experience trusting in God. Also, the Missioner's formation program started yesterday. There are daily reflections based off the encyclical Redemptoris Missio and well as reflections from the Missioners of Christ. "The Church is missionary by her very nature." That was part of today's reflection. It's true. We are all called to spread the Good News, to work in God's vineyard, whether that is at home, school, or a foreign country. I pray that no matter where we are, we all let God work through us to reach the world.

Long Time, No See

Well, it's been a while but it is time to dust off this blog once again. I will be returning to Honduras soon for a couple months, discerning a longer commitment to serve there. This decision has been a long time coming. Yes, I want to teach. Yes, I hope I get to do something teaching-related while I am in Honduras (though it is not up to me). But quite simply, I feel in my heart that this is where the Lord is leading me. He has certainly placed the people and mission in Honduras on my heart. I know I cannot do much to change the situations down there and that breaks my heart. I do not know why God seems to be calling me instead of others who could probably do more. I do know, however, that if God is in fact calling me, my heart will be restless until I respond to His loving call, that whatever He wants me to accomplish in Honduras He must do through me, and that He certainly has some (difficult) lessons in store for me. But I am so excited!